Taking A Break In A Relationship: Tips To Make It Work

Taking a Break in a RelationshipWhen it comes to relationship advice there are experts to help you deal with everything from how to get the perfect mate to coping with a break up. They tell you how to mend a relationship or how to end it, but no one ever mentions taking a break in a relationship. This is a valuable relationship tool that can actually help save your relationship. Many couples see a break as a precursor to a break up, but it is actually meant to help you put things in perspective.

Let’s face it; relationships are hard work much of the time. They can be even more difficult when you start to wonder if you can live with your mate’s flaws for the rest of your life. So rather than completely severing your ties as a couple, consider taking a break in a relationship to see how you feel.

Either you’ll feel better and have a clear sign to end the relationship, or you’ll realize you’d rather live with socks on the floor than without your sweetie pie.

Why Taking A Break In A Relationship Can Work

When a couple finds themselves in a rut, this is the time when frustrations, old fights and flaws become totally unbearable. Every little thing your partner does makes you cringe and some days you wish you were anywhere but under the same roof as them. Sound familiar?

This is why taking a break is a logical step in mending your relationship. You need time to yourself to figure out if this relationship is right for you, or if your frustrations are even about your relationship. You get to be ‘just you’ for awhile and that should give you the time you need to work through your frustrations.

But before you decide taking a break in a relationship is necessary, sit down and figure out how it will work.

Set Break Rules

Before you can take a break from your relationship you need to set some ground rules for behavior. You don’t want to deal with the infamous Ross & Rachel “we were on a break!” scenario so talk about it beforehand…no matter how comfortable it is.

Will you be allowed to date other people while you’re taking a break in a relationship, how about sleeping with other people? Make sure you talk about your expectations for this break very directly, and even write them down so you know exactly what is expected of you during this time.

You don’t want your behavior on your break to determine the course of your relationship.

Set A Deadline

Remember that taking a break in a relationship is supposed to be temporary, at least until you’ve made a decision. So you must figure out how long the break will last. At the end of the break you will talk about what you’ve both figured out and decide whether your relationship will continue.

Figuring out how long to be apart is difficult but the success of your relationship depends on it. The break should last for at least two weeks so you have sufficient time to be away from your relationship and on your own, but if you or your partner are dealing with serious issues (drug abuse, anger, infidelity) you may want to consider a longer break.

Keep In Contact

You have decided that taking a break in a relationship is the right course of action so make sure you have clear guidelines for how you will communicate with one another. This break is meant to give you time apart; not to forget the other person exists so decide how often you’ll be in contact and stick to it. Whether you agree to once a week or once a day, don’t do more or less than that.

A minimal amount of contact such as only phone conversations, will keep you in contact and keep your partner in your mind, will help make sure you are still thinking about your relationship.

Think About Your Relationship

The temptation is strong when taking a break from a relationship, to treat it as a vacation. Avoid that urge and remember why you’re actually on a break. Your relationship is at a crossroads and this time is meant to help you figure out if you are happier without your partner.

Spend time thinking about what brought your relationship to this point. Is your partner too controlling or are your annoying habits taking over the relationship? Do you feel lighter and freer without your partner in your life or have you decided you were being impatient?

Ask yourself if you miss being part of a couple or if it is your partner that you actually miss.

Decision Time

Taking a break in a relationship is no guarantee that you will get back together and things will be better, nor is it a definitive sign of a break up. The goal of the break is to help you and your partner figure out which of these scenarios will take place.

Just remember that the life you lead while taking a break is not how things will actually be. Right now you still have the safety net of a relationship so you can romanticize the single life and make a hasty decision based on an illusion. Don’t let your ‘options’ be what determines how this break ends up. Instead focus on how you feel and the quality of your life without your relationship.

Taking a break in a relationship isn’t just time apart; it is a time to reflect and analyze if your relationship can make it…and then try like hell to make it work!

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