Rebound Relationship To Real Romance?

Rebound RelationshipWhen one relationship ends the last thing you want to think about is starting another, especially given the negative view most people have toward rebound relationships. But while some people tend to want to run far, far away from the idea of making themselves vulnerable to another person again, others think it is the best way to move on and learn to love again.

You know that saying, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else? Well that is the essence of a relationship on the rebound for most people, but in some cases that new relationship on the heels of an old one is just what you need to see exactly what you’ve been missing.

It is not uncommon to find true love in a relationship you thought was just a fling.

Why Rebound Relationships Don’t Work

Perhaps the primary obstacle in the way of allowing a new relationship to become something more is the lingering feelings you still have either for your ex specifically or about the relationship in general. Rebound relationships by their very nature are short lived simply because you have yet to resolve the feelings you have about your previous relationship and why it went sour.

The problem with this is that you put all your energy into this new relationship when, in fact, you still haven’t dealt with your breakup. You do need time to reflect on your last relationship and examine why it went wrong. This self-reflection will allow you to be more proactive in future relationships.

You probably have friends and family warning you against the perils of rebound relationships. They worry that you are masking your hurt over your breakup with a new relationship and they aren’t shy about telling you. But what if they’re wrong? What if diving into this new relationship does help you heal while also boosting your confidence in yourself as well as in love?

Why Rebound Relationships Can Lead To Love

There is a lot of “common wisdom” when it comes to falling in love on the rebound. But much of this is anecdotal or based on that one friend everyone has who is never single. Ever. But a 2014 study revealed what many of us have known all along; rebound relationships can be a great way to get over an ex.

In fact it confirms many of the reasons we have for quickly starting up a new romance after an old one has gone sour. You look to another person to confirm your own desirability which boosts your self-confidence. This enhanced confidence makes it easier to consider that maybe your ex was wrong and someone else not only will but does find you desirable. Whether your old relationship lots its spark or cheating was involved, a new romance will debunk any myths you have about being unlovable.

But there is another reason rebound relationships are actually good for us and that is it helps you get over your last partner. Rather than spending time wallowing over your ex or abiding by that silly break up rule that says you have need to divide the time you were together in half and take that long to get over the relationship, you should dust yourself off and get back on that relationship horse. The quicker you open yourself up for a chance at real romance, the easier you will find it to get over your old romance.

You don’t want to be that person still angry, bitter or sad over a relationship long after it has ended, do you?

Whether you are motivated to start a rebound relationship in hopes it will make your ex jealous or because you truly want to move on…it doesn’t matter. The fact is that the act of trying to move on will go a long way in helping you heal your broken heart.

Not All Rebound Relationships Are Equal

Just because your coworker found the love of her life in a rebound relationship doesn’t mean you will, but just because people tell you these relationships never last doesn’t mean yours won’t. These relationships are not created equally and you should go into it with your eyes wide open.

Many of these relationships do lead to real romance because you both are meeting a need within one another. You’ve just been burned and you’re in search of someone to heal those wounds; perhaps your new love is looking for someone to save. Or just maybe your rebound relationship does all the things you’ve always wanted in a relationship but didn’t think your ex would ever give you.

Sometimes we are all so set on what we think we want in a relationship that it takes the vulnerability of a broken heart to open our eyes and see that what we want isn’t always what we need.

If you suspect your rebound relationship may turn into a long term love, just make sure you have learned something from your previous relationship. Were you guilty of blaming your partner for your emotions or not speaking up for yourself? If so simply acknowledge it to yourself and make a vow to avoid those same mistakes in this relationship. This is the reason most people think rebounds don’t last; because you haven’t had time to consider what went wrong and make changes. But let’s be honest: you knew what was wrong with your relationship well before it ended, didn’t you?

Now you can acknowledge it and move forward.

If you learn something from a previous relationship, no matter how it ended, then perhaps that relationship served its purpose in your life.

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