Can This Marriage Be Saved – Questions To Ask Yourself

Can This Marriage Be SavedMarriages go through ups and downs, but it’s a different story when you reach a point where you’re asking yourself – Can this marriage be saved? – and especially if you’re doing it often. It’s not an easy situation to be in and it can cause a lot of heartache and misery. The best way to figure out where you stand is to ask yourself some questions about whether or not your marriage can actually be saved and if you feel it’s worth the time and energy to make that happen. Asking yourself the following questions can provide you with some much needed clarity and answers during this difficult time.

Do both of you want to save the marriage?

It takes both people to make a marriage successful and if one is adamant about not putting in their share of the work, it can mean big trouble for the relationship. You may be scared to hear the answer, but it’s time to come right out and ask your husband “Can this marriage be saved?”

What’s keeping you together?
can this marriage be saved
There are many couples who suffer in a loveless marriage simply because they have kids, but staying together could actually do more harm for them than good. Kids are so perceptive and can pick up on the feelings and vibes between you in addition to seeing how you act toward each other. No matter how well you try to fake it, they’ll still know. If you can’t think of a single legitimate reason, such as the pure love for each other, that you’re staying together, it may be time to move on.

However, before you rush to a divorce lawyer, do whatever it takes to reignite the spark between the two of you. For example, have more sex, start doing more activities together, talk to each other about your feelings and let him know just how much you want him. There’s a good chance he’ll reciprocate and it could just save your marriage.
can this marriage be saved
Is there physical or emotional abuse?

If there is physical abuse present, the question isn’t “Can this marriage be saved?,” it’s asking yourself why you want to save it. There’s never any excuse as to why a man should physically hurt his wife. Emotional abuse over a long period of time, whether it’s constant name calling or frequently telling you that you’re worthless, can be just as damaging as physical abuse if not more so. It doesn’t matter if it’s done in person, via text message or even email, none of it is okay. Seek help with a counselor immediately so you can get on the road to healing yourself, helping your husband deal with his issues and allowing the two of you to work on fixing your marriage.

Has one of you cheated?
can this marriage be saved
Cheating is one of the most destructive things to a relationship. Some may also consider emotional cheating, such as engaging in sexual text message exchanges, just as damaging. Can this marriage be saved? Possibly, but it’s going to take a lot of hard work and devotion to make that happen. You have to first get at the underlying issues in order to figure out the reasoning behind the cheating before you can move forward. When both of you know where you stand and you’re on the same page, it can help you start to repair your marriage and re-establish trust. If the two of you feel as if it’s too much for you to take on alone, there’s no shame in talking to a couples counselor who can help you sort through the issues from a neutral perspective. If the cheating was frequent and ongoing, especially if there were already chances given to resolve the issue, it may be time to move on.

What caused the shift in your marriage?
can this marriage be saved
A marriage doesn’t just take a turn for the worse for no reason. There’s issues behind it and there’s often one key situation that made the entire relationship shift. For example, did one of you cheat? Did the two of you move out of state and away from your loved ones? Pinpointing the situation if there is one can help you address the issues and work on correcting the problem.

Have you talked to each other about how you feel?

One of the biggest reasons a marriage takes a tumble is that there’s a breakdown in communication. Both of you absolutely have to be open and honest with how you feel in general and about each other. It can seem scary to talk to your spouse about fixing the marriage if you’re afraid of hearing the responses, but if you want to work things out, you have to put yourself on the line. When you start asking the tough questions, that’s when the two of you can start coming up with the answers about how to fix the marriage and the deep-rooted problems. Make sure you have the discussion in person and not via text message or email. Group therapy sessions or one-on-one counseling sessions can be a great option if you could use a little help with addressing and adjusting the specific communication issues in the marriage.
can this marriage be saved
What are the biggest issues in your relationship?

The two of you can’t work on fixing your relationship if you don’t know what the issues are. Everyone has certain things about themselves individually and as a spouse that could use some work. For example, do you belittle your husbands dreams? Nag him too much? These are all things you can work on from your end. Talk to your spouse and learn what his issues are, request that he also work at things from an individual perspective and the two of you can come to a compromise about how to address the problems that need fixing together.

Can you see yourself married to him in three years?
can this marriage be saved
Ask “Can this marriage be saved?” and be brutally honest with the answer. If you can’t even see yourself together in the next few years, that’s a big problem. Start by asking yourself why you feel this way and do what you can to tackle those issues head on. Approach your husband with your concerns in a way that he’ll be willing to work together with you. For example, if you feel that he works way too much and you’re reaching your breaking point on your lack of quality time, let him know how you feel and see if the two of you can better mesh your schedules. A simple conversation could help the two of you get back on the road to repairing your marriage and saving your future with each other.

Are you still in love with your husband?

There’s a big difference between loving your husband and being in love with him. If you can genuinely say it’s the latter, there’s a good chance the two of you can work to save your marriage. However, if you find that you’re not in love with him anymore, the two of you are going to have to do a substantial amount of work to try to get that spark back and keep it going. Think back to what made your marriage work in the initial stages. Maybe you went out more often on dates, you had sex more often or the two of you constantly complimented each other; whatever it is, get back to the roots of your marriage by reincorporating some of these techniques back into your relationship.

It’s not easy to decide whether or not to end a marriage and it shouldn’t be a decision you make in a matter of minutes or even days. Every effort should be made to try to save the marriage even if it means going to counseling. As long as the two of you are committed to saving the marriage, there’s a good chance you can make it happen.

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